PUPO

Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise -- that is what I am.

Today we found out that out of our 12 embryos, 11 were still growing and thriving. They had all reached the blastocyst stage and were all good quality. The doctor said there was "no junk". Two of the embies were a little ahead of the others and the doctor suggested transfering those two and maybe one more if we wanted. We talked about it and decided to transfer 3.

The transfer was easy, just a little cramping. They offered a Valium but I didn't want it and they didn't push it. I had acupuncture before and after the transfer so I was calm and ready.

The wait is on. I will have a blood test to determine if I am pregnant around the 5th.

PUPO, a mommy in the making!

Waiting, waiting, waiting

The wait it almost over, tomorrow is the day. I can see the clinic from our hotel window. I was just looking out the window at the clinic and thinking about our babies over there. I hope they are behaving and growing to be strong little blastocysts. Tomorrow I will come and get you!

Great Fertilization Report

Things just keep looking good. I am finally getting used to good news I think. The doctor called this morning. Out of the 17 eggs that were retrieved, 14 were mature and were injected with sperm. Out of the 14, 12 look great and are growing. We have 12 embies growing right now. The doctor said we should make it to a 5 day transfer and scheduled it for Wednesday, January 27.

To answer the question a lot of people seem to have....no, I don't want to be octomom. At age 40 that would be almost impossible anyways. The doctor suggests we transfer 3 to 4 embryos. That would give us about a 20% chance of twins and about a 1-3% chance of triplets or more.

Egg Retrieval Done

The egg retrieval went well this morning. We have 17 eggs. I am very pleased with the number. There was an egg in every follicle and the doctor got every last one. I just feel tired and a little dizzy. I bet I sleep most of the day away.

I was out for the procedure. Andrew was there by my side and watched the entire process.

We will get a call in the morning telling us how many eggs fertilitzed and are growing.

Nervous? Yep, a little.

Friday is getting close. I keep looking at the clock noticing how quickly time is going by. I'm a bit nervous, all the usual stuff. Will it hurt, will I get nauseated, will everything go well, will they get all the eggs, etc. Andrew and I had a nice talk this morning about how hard it is to trust the doctors but how you have no other choice. We talked about the feelings of having no control. I had some feelings about how we are going to far, but Andrew assured me we are not. We progressed to talking about our future child and how I will have to control the urge to tell a wayward teen that they have no appreciation for all we did to get them here. :)

I belong to a couple of groups on Fertility Friend. I am a member of a buddy group where we are all going through IVF at the same time. This morning it hit me that all this won't end well for one or more of the ladies. I wish we could all get our take home babies. Women who suffer infertility are some of the most caring ladies in the world. I am blessed to have people to walk the walk with me.

I will update as soon as I can tomorrow. Egg retrieval is at 8 am.

Is Friday the Day?

So far I am scheduled for egg retrieval Friday at 8 am. At the appointment today I had 15 follicles that are in the mature range and 2 that are close but not quite there. My estrogen is around 4600 today. They have some concerns because my estrogen is a little high. I am at medium risk for developing OHSS an illness caused from overstimulating the ovaries. When I left the appointment this morning I wasn't for sure that Friday would be the day. I was given a medication to take only if they called me this afternoon. The medication would delay egg retrival. So far no call so I think I am good. This morning and early afternoon was a little tense hoping the phone wouldn't ring.

Tonight at 8pm I take my last two injections! I am excited about that, no more shots.

I am miserable. My back hurts, my ovaries hurt all the time, I'm crampy, moody but still hopeful. Andrew is doing a fabulous job of putting up with me. I couldn't do this without his support and the support of all my family and friends. It really helps knowing that so many people are praying and thinking about you.

Thats a lot of eggs!

Another appointment, more blood work and more good news. They measured 16 follicles. That means I may have 16 eggs. That is a great number. The follicles grew a lot over the weekend and clinic is pleased. They called after getting my bloodwork back and my estrogen is 2748. I go back tomorrow. Egg retrieval is getting close, either Thursday or Friday.

Things are looking great

I had a great appointment today. I have a lot of follicles. They are still a little small. However, they said my ovaries are responding very well. I made a comment about my follicles being good for an old lady and she said I am responding better than a lot of 30 year olds. That made me feel really good. My ovaries look like swiss cheese full of black holes, each hole representing a follicle that likely holds an egg.

Just a minute ago the clinic called and said I am doing so well that they are decreasing my meds from 300 IU to 225 IU. My estrogen is rising very nicely and they said now my eggs just need to catch up. On Monday my estrogen was 199 and they were worried about it, Wednesday it was 687 and today it is 1423. Each follicle produces estrogen. You can get a good feel on how many follicles there are and how many will be mature by the estrogen levels. You want them high but not too high.

No appointment until Monday.

Today I am on cloud nine. Grow little eggies, grow.

The Roller Coaster Ride

I now see what they mean about IVF being a roller coaster ride. At first my appointment went well, the ultrasound showed 6 to 8 follicles on each ovary. She said they were still a little small so we are likely a week out from retrieval, pushed backed one day. She measured 4 follicles with the largest being about 12mm. Many of the others are right behind. Then we talked about my estrogen levels. She said they are a little low and that I should increase my meds unless the bloodwork today showed improvement. I was a little upset but tried to focus on having so many follicles.

We ate lunch and headed back to the room. My cell phone rang and it was the clinic. My estrogen rose nicely the nurse said. I should not increase my meds. Wonderful news!

Acupuncture

I had acupuncture last night. I loved the guy who placed the needles. He was very warm and caring and he asked tons of questions. He placed one needle in my wrist that caused a sharp electric current to flow down to my thumb, it was wild. After the treatment it felt like the needles were still there. I think his placements were right on target. I have another appointment with him at 11:15 on Saturday.

I am very aware of my ovaries now. They feel a little crampy and at time there is a sharp pain. All of this is normal. My stomach looks like a pin cushion with all the little red dots, some with slight bruising. The vein in my arm didn't cooperate last time so they took blood from my hand so my arm and hand are bruised as well. My emotions are doing well. So far I have only had one day where I wanted to cry at absolutely nothing.

Last night during the acupuncture I had clear visions of our child. The baby had Andrews beautiful brown eyes and my lips and nose, it had a very little bit of light brown hair and it had Andrews funny feet.

We are considering going to Vermont tomorrow for a driving tour of covered bridges. I am getting a little tired of this hotel room.

NYC and Appointment

Today we had another doctors appointment. They did bloodwork and an ultrasound. There are 9 follicles growing so far after 4 days of medications. The nurse said that was great and that more follicles can crop up because it is still early. So far everything is looking good.

We had a very busy weekend. We went to New York City and had a blast. We took the train from New Jersey to Penn Station which is right under Madison Square Gardens. Our first stop was the Empire State Building so we took off walking. The energy of the city is amazing. I loved the people and the cars, the sounds and smells. There is so much to see you don't even notice how far you are walking. Before we knew it we were there. We had lunch and then walked one more block to the entrance of the Empire State Building. We had been warned of long lines but there were none. I think the talk of cold temperatures kept everyone at home. We took the elevator to the 80th floor and then took a second elevator to the 86th floor. The views were spectacular. It was a perfectly clear day so you could see everything. I saw the Statue of Liberty, the end of the Brooklyn Bridge, the Chrysler Building, skaters at Rockefeller Center, Central Park and the ball at Times Square. It was cold but it was well worth it.

After the Empire State Building we walked to our hotel, the Marriott at Times Square. I loved the walk. We passed shops of every sort, from peep shows to bead shops.

Our room was amazing. It was large, a king size bed, large flat screen TV, sofa, chair, desk and a floor to ceiling window that looked out to the North end of Times Square. The lights filled our room. You could lay in bed and watch the different colored lights dance on the ceiling. At 10 at night our room was lit like it was daytime. Thankfully the room was also equipped with blackout curtains.

We ate dinner at The View. A restaurant on top of the Marriott that turns 360 degrees. The views were great and the food was overpriced but that is NYC.

After dinner we headed down for Times Square and walked around. People watching is so much fun. We went to several of the stores. We were on a hunt for a particular tshirt for my brother in law. We didn't find one. Hopefully what we did find will be just as great. We headed back to the room in time for my 9:00 injections and then off to sleep.

The next morning we took a cab to the Museum of Modern Art. It was AMAZING. I saw Van Gogh's Starry Starry Nights, Dali's famous painting with the melted clocks, too many Picassos to count and so much more. An amazing art museum to say the least.
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After the museum we walked to FAO Schwarz. We had already decided to "assume the sale" and we walked around and chose the perfect toy for our baby, a Steiff bear. We also chose a toy for Megan. After the toy store a quick lunch and then a cab to the ballet.

I was very excited about the ballet. I have always love the ballet and the chance to see the New York City Ballet was a dream come true. We saw a Midsummers Nights Dream. It was everything I thought it would be and more. It was funny and it was touching. The costumes were beautiful. The children in the ballet were perfect. I could have watched it all night.

First Appointment

Today I had my first appointment with the clinic. Everything went very well. My ovaries were quiet, no cysts so we received the approval to move ahead with the IVF. They went over what meds I take when and gave instructions on how to do the injections. I will begin taking the injections tomorrow night.

The clinic has a wellness spa upstairs. I made an appointment with the acupuncturist before seeing the doctor. I loved my acupuncturist. She has been practicing for over 20 years and 13 of those were in China. She gave me some tips, no spicy foods, heating pad on low heat before bed until egg retrieval, eat more non acidic fruits, plenty of rest. The spa was very nice, you feel relaxed the minute you walk in. Drew waited for me in the relaxation room and feel asleep in front of the fireplace. The sheets on the acu table were the softest I have ever felt. Everything felt perfect.

The clinic was equally as comfortable. From the fireplace to the comfy chairs to the books on positive thinking, everything is just right. Every staff person we encountered was friendly and helpful. Everyone seemed to enjoy what they do and they all have positive attitudes. I couldn't have asked for a better clinic. I really feel we were led here for a reason.

A side note, we have visited the beach twice. The first time at Sandy Hook I encountered a baby doll shoe on the beach. On the second beach trip to Asbury Park the only thing out of place on the beach was a baby teether. I believe our child is leaving us messages. Faith and hope, they feel wonderful.

New Jersey

We made it to New Jersey on Sunday. Today we visited Andrews old neighborhood. It was fun seeing the house where he grew up. He pointed out all his childhood stomping places. I could almost picture him as a little boy running though the woods.

After visiting the old neighborhood we stopped by his friend Howies (also our host) Tshirt screening shop. I learned how to screen a Tshirt. We chatted and then went to lunch at a neighborhood Italian restaurant. It was really Italian. Nothing like that in Oklahoma.

Our next adventure was to visit the Atlantic Ocean. I have never seen the Atlantic Ocean before. We visited the Twin Lights Lighthouse and then drove to Sandy Hook. The beach was deserted. It was so incredibly cold but it was still fun. I love hearing waves. As we walked along the beach there was a tiny doll shoe...a good sign perhaps? We also collected some shells and also saw a dead sting ray.

I called the clinic to report the start of my period. My first appointment is Wednesday at 1:30. Onward and upward.

Illinois

We have stopped for the night in Greenville, IL. We drove through some snow but nothing too bad. We were going to visit Cleveland but they are having way too much snow so we have decided to abandon those plans and stay south for as long as possible.

New Adventure - New Hope

Today we leave for New York. Our desire for a child has led us to a clinic in Albany, New York. We will soon begin an IVF cycle.

First a warning, I don't have much modesty. I don't mind telling it like it is. I am no longer embarassed about anything having to do with getting pregnant. Sometimes it might be too much information. I hope no one is offended.

We have tried a number of things over the almost 2 1/2 years to have a child but we haven't been successful. I have taken fertility medications, peed on a million sticks, taken shots, taken my temperature every morning too many times, had artificial inseminations, check cervical position and cervical fluids and yes, I have just relaxed. Truth is neither Drew or I are young.

Here is a brief description of what we are doing in New York, an IVF intro:

On the third day or so after I start my period I will being injecting myself several times a day with fertility medications. One of the meds helps me grow a large number of eggs. The other med keeps me from ovulating or releasing the eggs to my fallopian tubes. I take these meds for around 10 days. During these 10 days the doctors keep a very close eye on me. I will have bloodwork and ultrasounds every other day or every third day in the beginning and when the eggs start reaching maturity I will go in every day.

Once the eggs are mature I will stop the meds I have been taking and I will inject another drug (trigger) which helps the eggs with the final stage of maturation. This drug also causes ovulation so it has to be timed precisely with egg retrieval.

36 hours after the trigger I go to the clinic, I am sedated and all the eggs are retrieved. It is done via the vagina with a super long needle and guided by ultrasound. I will then rest for a bit and they count the eggs. Drew would have done his part in a cup. Each eggs is then injected with one sperm. This is called ICSI. The egg/sperm combos are left to rest and you pray they fertilize.

3 days after the eggs are injected they will look at them and hopefully we have some beautiful embryos. The clinic will look at the eggs and if they are doing really well and we have quite a few we may wait until day 5 to transfer them. If the number is few and they aren't the top of the line we will transfer them on day 3. The grade them based on the number of cells they have, if they have fragmentation, and how they look.

After the embryos are placed into my uterus we wait. We should know in about two weeks if we are going to be parents.

We appreciate all thoughts and prayers.